Wednesday, June 25, 2014

It's been a while....

I just realized it's been a while....my heart broke in a million pieces after losing my dear Grandma last October. I drew the line. I just couldn't write anymore. I was tired, sad, and I couldn't even put my emotions into words. 

Today is now June 25,2014!! It's been 8 months since my last chemo (PRAISE THE LORD) and my curls are growing back (slowly but surely). I'm 6 months post radiation treatments as well. I'm overall very happy & blessed to be enjoying the start of summer with my family. I'm currently "in remission" meaning that my oncologist & surgeon don't see any signs of cancer in my body. Yayyyoooowhooooooooo! :) 

Everything is healing well, despite severe nerve damage. I pray daily that God will touch my body & all the pain will fade. I walk, practice gentle yoga, stretch & strengthen, and eat clean. I believe that is doing my part while healing, by taking care of myself. I'm currently unable to tolerate "Tamoxifen"...It's a drug that is suppose to suppress my estrogen levels, with hopes to keep the cancer away. Unfortunately, my body can't tolerate the side effects. So, I eat organic as possible, & I've cut out dairy, wheat, processed foods, alcohol, refined sugar & I'm working on cutting out caffeine (a struggle lol). I've also been taking Vitamin B12, Biotin, High levels of Probiotics, Vitamin C & D as well as Turmeric!

I will have many blood draws, check-ups, & more over the next five years. I'm still active in physical therapy, seeing Maggie weekly, working on my left side (swelling & pain) It's been over 2 years of being sick in bed watching "summer" my favorite month pass by without me. Last summer was extremely difficult being sick during chemo. So each day I wake up this summer, I smile! I remind myself that it's so much better then it was before. I continue to say "I'm healed" and believe it. It was a constant struggle to finish cancer treatments & now "heal" without replaying the horror of it all in my mind, each day. To heal emotionally, mentally & physically takes prayer, perseverance & patience. I did fight! I did pray! And I did win! Amen!

Last years was the hardest year of my life. Although it also held, one of my most favorite days, in my entire life! Marrying my best friend, Daniel. The sweet private ceremony was perfect, held at sunset on my parents property. This year we get to celebrate our 1st year anniversary & wedding vow renewal, in the Bay Area with Daniel's family (and some of mine). It will be in Berkeley,CA on 7.19.14 on a sunny Saturday...We are doing it BIG this time! A full celebration of life, survivorship, love & more! I'm truly excited to share this day with our family & friends. I never imagined walking down the isle in a wedding gown...smiling at my better half...feeling the excitement & love in the air...it's going to be beautiful & amazing.

Continue to pray for my healing. For my family & for our medical bills that continue to pile high. I know God has a perfect plan for us & will take care of the rest. The most important is that I'm alive! Amen! That I beat this disease that is trying to take over the world. So many young, old, even babies are being diagnosed daily. I pray for each one, each family fighting for their love one, each child fighting for their life, each grandmother fighting to see another day, and for all the medical staff & cancer researchers to continue improving medications & treatments. For all the dedicated surgeons, oncologists, nurses & more helping to save lives. I pray for them all. I'm very grateful for my life. I celebrate each day (the little victories as Daniel would say.) 

I'm still on long-term disability. I did get a few job offers, but had to decline, as my body isn't ready to return to work yet. I will know when I'm able...but it was flattering being offered a great position from a respected company. Well that's a wrap for now! I will make sure to fill in the blanks soon & upload wedding pictures come July! 

Hope you're all doing well & I miss you all very much!!



XO

Nicole