Sound the alarm

Trapped in my skin-
Pain bleeds down my
Stitches if you could 
Hear the screams within-
Each breath breaks glass, 
Fast, like cars speeding
over the Overpass
I'd PASS
on this felony at large-
I'd PASS
on this death row charge!
Each tumor was sweatin'
All 15 enlarged, life threatenin'
Surgeon's came in blastn'
Them out of my arm-
Sound the alarm
Handicapp'n
Caps in hands and
Hands smashin' 
things that sting-LOUD
Rage against the machine
I'm onto the next scene
Tumors fall down dead
We have the victory-no tears shed
No way to get my veins-
No more ball & chains 
No more mental strains
Just biopsy boxes- unclean
with labels of toxic green
No more oxygen to increase
The lean on me-
No more power to devour me
Surgeon's Decapitate each
Cancerous Enemy
No strings attached
And I'm detached from 
My tissue
Eliminating disease
My left breast 
But not my left chest
Stands proud
Although indents 
Of my Existence remain
I faint at the sight
of my resistance 
I thank God-
for the scars & stitches
Cancer is gone 
Even my left armpit 
Still sweats
But not from Fear
Hair still grows there
It looks unfair
For my body to be compared
I do care- 
I scream at my tears
I scream at my marks
But they can't blind my eyes dark
Pill after Pill 
I refill- & Holy Water spills
Overflowing grace that I can feel
My mouth that tastes like medical bills
How many milligrams of numb at 2pm?
Then 40 milligrams of numb at Noon?
Okay, That's cool-
I'm sitting here in a 
Square, naked bare
Pressed up against the wall
Pain hard to Bare
I'll sit here pressed up
Against my hair 
soon to fall 
Beneath the chair-
Peace fills me because
God's hands cover my 
Body's unfamiliar flare
No Complaints
All Praise-
God's plans better days
than these days of pain
Down here-
My eyes see haze
& sometimes I hallucinate 
Seeing a shadow of pain 
That follows me-
I'm sooooo sleepy
I dream of my reality
them my arm is my alarm 
waking me at 12:03
My neck itches
Each hour passes
My badge of honor heals
yes, my port under my skin
And the scars within
is my medal to show 
that I WILL WIN! 
Time constraints 
As I lay awake-
I pray to God 
for a good night's sleep 
Please arrive & please stay
Because, honestly 
I've really got
Nothin' left to say.

3:29am 

XO

Nicole