Devine Help

Yesterday, I woke up & knew it was important to go to church with Daniel. His auntie, Mona, attends 2nd Baptist Church in North Everett & invited us...along with dinner at her house afterwards. So regardless of my pain, nausea, anxiety, fatigue, hot flashes, swelling, my oldest having flu with fever, & nothing comfortable to wear....I knew I needed to be in church with Daniel so we could hear the word & get prayed for.

1 Peter 5:7 was on the screen as we walked in late...Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.

Really? Did someone give the Pastor a heads up? Next verse was Psalm 55:22 Cast your cares on the Lord, and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall.

What? Are you serious? You ever go to church and feel like the message was made just for you? God knew my fears,anxiety & every emotion going through me at that moment...He knew exactly what I needed to hear...confirmation that he's got my back and understands me.

The next verse was Psalm 37:5 Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass.

Bring it to pass? You mean if I trust in Him, He will help me get through the surgery, pain, chemotherapy, radiation, side effects, emotional & physical effects, all of it?

Each verse hit me deeper & deeper...and I've heard them all before, but it's crazy how when they are applied to what you're facing at that very moment, it seems they were written especially for you. Well, they really were made especially for us, because He knew we would need them.

How do I cast my fears on the Lord? How do I pray, and not worry? How do I do this? People are quick to give you an inspirational quote or a verse to comfort you during something difficult like what I'm facing...and it makes logical sense...it sounds good & it's comforting...but how do you really apply it to your life at the moment & time when you're afraid to death? When you're told you have cancer aggressively attacking you? When you can feel cancer attacking you? When you can feel it's poison & your body trying to fight it? And it hurts...and it strikes a nerve so painful that Vicodin seems to be weaker then Advil & I just have to hold my breath & pray....waiting for the nerves to relax & for the pain to subside. How do you give it over to God? Because I physically "feel" the pain. I really want too give it to the Lord, because I know this is far too much for me to handle alone. My body is weak, remember?  

Sometimes you might think it's the devil- but it's God opening your eyes- to get your attention. God commands us to do the impossible, but He never intended us to bare these burrdens alone. We need God like the flowers need rain, like the fish need water, like greens need cornbread...lol..this is what the Pastor preached.He sends "Devine Help" through the Holy Spirit (Agapa Love) unconditional love.

God told me during the church service, that I don't have to "try" to do anything. That my personality wants to know what to do & that I'm very good at executing. But I'm not good at sitting still & letting someone execute for me. He wants to execute for me. I'm praying for Him to execute, but I still keep getting in the way. It's hard for me to understand how to get anything done by sitting still? But God can only work, when I am still. His ways are better then mine...faster, more efficient, & stronger!!!!

Learning to rest in Him is just really getting to know Him. Reading my Bible...praying...learning the word. Resting in Him will heal me. Resting in Him alone. It's that easy...I'm making it more complicated then it really is...God just wants this time to restore me and spend time with me. This is the "eye-opener" that I needed to see His love for me, and healing grace. When I read the word it actually takes my mind off my disease, myself, my pain...it allows me to focus on Him..and He is comforting...healing...& peaceful.

He's sending me Devine Help...exactly what I needed.